New Song | Gone With The Wind

I got a very nice message about how my latest song, "Too Little, Too Late" and I let a person, who messaged me, know that I would talk about my work that is coming up. In fact, one of the most popular comments left after random listeners got to sample this song is... drum roll please...

...wanted to look me up, add me to their playlists, or find out more about me...

Here are some of my favorite comments! Thank you random peeps!

THERE WERE TOO MANY GOOD REVIEWS! THANK YOU!

    

MY NEXT SONGS | GONE WITH THE WIND:

Why name a song after a "banned" book?" 

First, I bet not many people have actually read the book, or even seen the movie, "Gone With the Wind." I did watch the movie...it was long. As a youngster...way too long. I didn't understand the plot until much later on in life. For me, "Gone with the Wind" was a movie about great costume design. I was swept away by the beautiful southern belle dresses. As I got older and moved to Texas, I learned that women in the south don't dress in regal gowns. I got to see Barbie Dolls that were much too expensive with Barbie-versions of these elaborate dresses.

Who would have ever guessed back then that it would end up "banned." Back in the day this movie received many accolades, the novel recieved the Pulitzer Prize, and the costumes deemed so iconic there are Barbie Dolls made up as "Scarlet O'Hara." So, what is "Gone with the Wind" even about?

(WARNING--GONE WITH THE WIND SUMMARY--YOU CAN SKIP TO THE NEXT TALKING POINT IF YOU ALREADY KNOW OR FEEL TOO SENSITIVE.) 

 

"Gone with the Wind" starts out with "Scarlet O' Hara," played by the actress Vivian Leigh, seeking to impress eligible bachelors, but mostly, her crush, "Ashley Wilkes." At the start of the movie, she arrives on scene as a southern belle debutante. 

To her dismay, she overhears that her crush is engaged-to-be-married to his cousin, Melanie Hamilton. Scarlett, afraid to lose Ashley forever, confesses her love the very next day at a family barbecue thrown at the Wilkes plantation. Ashley admits that he does love Scarlet...but...that he is set on marrying his cousin because they are very similar people (side note: I mean...they are cousins...so I guess family can be pretty darn similar). 

Ashley lets Scarlet down...and Scarlet slaps him. 

This exchange is witnessed by Rhett Butler.

The civil war starts...and Scarlet receives a proposal from Ashley's brother, Charles Hamilton. She accepts in order to make Ashley jealous. Charles dies in the war effort. Scarlet finds out she is pregnant with Charles' child. Scarlet decides to move in with Melanie and Melanie's aunt (remember this is the new wife of her crush, Ashley. It seems she does this as a way to keep tabs on Ashley and this relationship). While a bored widow, she starts to hang out with Rhett Butler, who encourages her to break the rules of being a widow at that time (you know...wear black only, don't go to parties...be sad for a good-long while in a public display of grief). 

Things become bleak as ever as the war continues, Ashley is captured and held as a prisoner. Scarlet wants to go back to her home, "Tara" but refrains. She makes a promise to Ashley that she would take care of Melanie (who is now pregnant with his child). Scarlet still wants to please Ashley and gain his favor. 

Looooong-story-shorter, Scarlet returns to her home "Tara" eventually to find it in shambles. She promises herself to rebuild it to its former glory...and seeks out the help of Rhett Butler (who gained wealth during the war). Rhett unfortunately cannot help Scarlet monetarily at this point...and Scarlet comes up with a new plan. She betrays her sister and steals her man! She does this in order to pay the taxes on Tara and save the family home. She gets pregnant again and has a daughter out of this new 2nd marriage to Frank Kennedy. Frank dies trying to rescue Scarlet...and Scarlet is a single woman once again. 

This is a long movie...even this post needs an "intermission." I will skip to the end.

Rhett goes all-out chasing Scarlet O'Hara, he marries her, they have a kid together (who dies falling off a horse). All in all, Rhett follows through as a good husband to Scarlet...but Scarlet STILL insists on protecting her feelings for Ashely. She still feels, at heart, that her and Ashley are meant to be...like soulmates. She refuses to acknowledge Ashely has moved on from her with Melanie in a real way. (As in, even if it may just be a practical life choice that he remains married to her, he will never give Scarlet a shot.)

It is at the very, very, very end of the movie that she finally "wakes up." Scarlet helps Melanie deliver the baby she is having with her crush, Ashley. She witnesses how much Ashley and Melanie actually care for each other...and it dawns on her...all Ashley ever was to her was an idea she held on to for a long time...

All the while, she was ignoring Rhett...

This leads to a famous scene where she finally understands that what Rhett Butler gave her, with all of his money, spoiling her with great dresses during a time of war and scarcity...and this thing with Rhett was not this fictional-fantasy, wishy-washy thing she had for Ashley.

To make this tragic, just as she finally "grows up," runs down the stairs to save her marriage to Rhett...

He is already out the door, literally, standing outside the door. He utters the famous phrase, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." Roughly translated into modern language, Rhett Butler says in southern-gentleman, "I've had enough of your B.S."

What Does this Have to Do With My Improved Multi-Dimensional Lyrics? 

I knew I wanted to reference the "Gone With the Wind" story in my next song because of the plot alone...let's not make things scandalous please. Yes, the movie "Gone with the Wind" is one of the "cancel culture" banned items...I am aware...I have no intention of hurting feelings by referencing it. I don't want this to become an issue for that reason. As an artist, I am very loosely making a reference to this sort of "holding on to hope" type-crush, or unrequited love, scenario portrayed in the movie. This movie is very "fitting" for a person who is going through "letting go of something and nothing at the same time." What do I mean? There are situations in life that people "build up in their minds" and sometimes life only presents the opportunity to "break up with the idea" or "breaking up with your own expectations." 

Maybe one day...

...but also...

Maybe never...

In these cases, "holding on to nothing" gets heavier the longer one keeps holding on. 

IN MY NEW SONG "TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE," this is what I describe: it is the moment one realizes that it hurts just as much to hold on as it will to let go...

Who knew nothing can be so heavy? Sometimes, it is better for inner-peace to "toss it to the wind." Free your soul for other possibilities/prospects. In Scarlet's case, it was what she needed to do in order to save her marriage to Rhett Butler. Scarlet, eventually realized she let this "fantasy" of Ashley get in the way of something real...but it was too late... 

That's the moral of the story of "Gone with the Wind." Don't get so caught up in "the idea" that you lose sight of reality. "Gone with the Wind" also offers the added obstacle of "practicality." Maybe, by Ashley admitting that he did share feelings for Scarlet, he made things complicated for her. He still wouldn't change his plans, due to his practical mindset.

Okay...so I feel I have established the "movie plot" aspect of these lyrics. Please don't cause an uproar about this choice. I address it head on that my choice to reference this movie is only one angle to focus on when you pick apart my creative choices. 

2ND REASON FOR "GONE WITH THE WIND" OVER RHYMING "MEANT" 

Believe it or not, I "audition" ideas with my producer. Before I settled on the phrase, "gone with the wind," I had a minor freak out. I was afraid of it not being accepted due to cancel culture. I was afraid people might not even listen to this song because of a bias towards the novel/movie. 

The stanza where this phrase appears goes like: 

...but the way that you left me

Searching for meaning...

In tear-streaked apologies 

I never sent...

In letters and love songs...

You left my pen bleeding...

With unexpressed feelings...

All gone with the wind... 

For the bottom of this section, I wanted to rhyme "sent" with "meant," instead of  "sent" and "wind." I came into the studio with my "new" idea. I explained that I was afraid to use "gone with the wind." I also addressed the word "meant" rhymed better. 

My producer asked me, "What does gone with the wind even mean? Isn't it some old movie?"

I explained...

I told him the plot of the movie. We also looked it up...just in case. The phrase "gone with the wind" is actually just a figure of speech that was popularized by this movie. If you look it up, "gone with the wind" just means "gone forever." As in the "ways of the old south are gone forever." I calmed down about referencing this movie once I looked up the phrase alone, its meaning, and felt that in my heart, it was the "right" line and provided the right visual. 

...because...

It has more than only one meaning. Again, the movie is only one reference that can be extracted from using that phrase...

2ND REASON FOR THIS PHRASE CHOICE:

In discussing my creative choices with my producer, we liked the phrase "gone with the wind" for a whole other reason. It kind of "leads into" the song "Turnaround." It is something I thought about as a cool continuation of a story or idea. 

If I were doing a concert, for example, I would sing "Gone with the Wind" right before or after "Turnaround." 

The start of my song "Turnaraound" I say, "I'd write love notes, throw them out my window...just to watch the wind blow, them underneath your shoes." 

This song will do well to follow-up sentiments from "Gone with the Wind." It is sequential order, one describes letting a person go...and then the other follows with the pain of watching them walk away.  I use the visual of "wind" to tie them both together...it fits. Which leads me into my next point...

MY 3D LYRICS | LITERAL REFERENCE:

...and on a 3D level...

I use the "visual" of "tossing it to the wind." I wanted to reference actual wind because it is exactly how one must get rid of their feelings in these sort of no-closure events. Sometimes in life, someone will cross your path and you will catch feelings...and that's about it...nothing else happens.

You will be left with:

No answers...

No feeling of conclusion or resolution...

Confusion (desire maybe mixed with negative emotions-hurt, anger, frustration)

Somehow, without answer or explanation, one has to just walk away.

With no exploration of "feelings," the only job left is that of getting rid of them. It feels a lot like, "I can't care anymore." Maybe even like the very end of "Gone with the Wind, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." 

NEW SOUNDS | MY INFLUENCES 

I didn't mean for it to happen...but it did. My song "Too Little, Too Late" popped into my head right after I got to hear Garth Brooks explain his feelings for Trisha Yearwood when he first met her. This was maybe the first time I truly heard or internalized this story (if I heard it before - it wasn't at the same time in life where it impacted me - this "hit" me). This explanation happened to be done right in front of me. I got to meet them in real life...

I felt it. 

I completely understood what he was trying to say as, "she was the one that got away." I have heard, and even experienced, this scenario. It seemed like my own life was filled with my own versions of what he explained. What I mean by that is, recognizing that I feel a strong connection, but also recognizing that I will not be able to explore it. It presents a hard-to-get-over mixed-bag of emotions until the feelings subside over time...if they ever do...

Okay, "mixed bag of emotions" puts it lightly. For me, it felt like a spiritual crisis...but it is indeed difficult to navigate. 

Who knows if Garth ever expressed his feelings at that time, or "held them in" for a long while ...most likely he wrote songs...as I do. When I wrote "Too Little, Too Late" I channeled that feeling of not knowing what to do with feelings that will have to "go nowhere" due to the circumstances. I understood "where Brooks was coming from." This scenario does happen to people...even more so these days with social media...

These days it is so easy to reconnect and connect. So many people are left with "just feelings" and nothing else, especially after technology presents an easy "out" to ghost people. Technology also makes it easier to get into "its complicated" scenarios. Maybe someone out there has experienced something like my example. 

Example: 

When you decide to "give up" on your person-of-interest...

Then, when they are interested | You are invested in your relationship. 

Your relationship falls apart | They are taken. 

Bad timing. 

That's life. 

Thank God for music. 

There are two style of music that capture these emotions well, country and blues. As an "indie artist" I don't have an obligation to create certain sounds, no manager is breathing down my neck, a record label is making me do anything I don't want to do...I can do whatever I like! My song "Too Little, Too Late" is purposely written in a traditional country manner. I did my best to do my own voice with some Trisha/Garth tones. I found I liked the challenge as a singer-songwriter to write/sing this way. If you listen to "Too Little, Too Late" I sing in a way that emulates "Trisha Yearwood" but in my own voice. The songwriting is "What Would Garth Brooks Do?" Just like people used to say, "What would Jesus do?" When I got stuck, I would think of pairing lyrics that would make people emotional upon hearing them. There were a lot of clever juxtapositions, such as:

"It's just hard to let go...and it's hard to hold on" 

...and...

"I don't want to let you in, because I don't want to let you go." 

What does that mean? 

Remember, in songwriting you don't even have a paragraph to get your point across...you have a handful of words to say a million different things at once. For me, the phrase is poetically open to interpretation, but mostly it means, "I won't even let you in, or give it a chance, because if you ever leave I already know the heartbreak would be tremendous...so I won't bother with it."

Sounds complicated. 

Well...it is. 

I'm pretty sure that if someone asked Garth "how" he felt at the moment he experienced that connection to Trisha, he would have said, "it's complicated." Just to be on the "safe side" I will explain that my lyrics are "inspired" by the Trisha/Garth moment...BUT not directly explaining it. I don't want Garth to come across my song like, "I would never have explained it this way."

My lyrics in "Too Little, Too Late" are based on my own experiences, even influenced by my producer's take on this scenario. So, just to be clear, the lyrics were written for the sake of poetry about "the one that got away." 

Otherwise, I do picture Garth listening to the line, "...and I hope that time and space would give me some closure...that someday I would forget your face, knowing I never will..." and crinkling his forhead like, "Hmmmm...nope...not really. " 

So, that line was based on "my response" of wanting desperately to let go of my emotions, hoping that one day I'd forget someone I deemed "unforgettable." We all have those people like, "remember the crush you had in 2nd grade?"

Sure your do...okay maybe it was another grade for other people...but...

It was your first crush. There are those type of individuals that "leave a mark;" but if it doesn't go your way...boy, do you pray for a day when your soul lets go of the idea because you know "it is not happening."

COMING NEXT: ELTON JOHN MEETS MICHEAL BUBLE...MEETS BARNES AND NOBLE!

Based on this "idea" to create music inspired by my musical influences, I create around an "Elton-meets-Buble" sound. My next song, "Gone with the Wind," took on a jazz/blues tone. It is fitting for the context. My "joke" to my producer is that I started writing music to fit a bucket-list goal to hear my "easy listening" jazz music played at Barnes and Noble. 

     (Below: I was dressed-up as Elton John when I preformed as a singer for the Grant TV Network Halloween Party.)

MY B&N BUCKET-LIST GOAL:

I know a manager at a local Barnes and Noble bookstore...and I am going to approach them about playing my music. I will also ask a Starbucks in town, where I show my art, to play my "coffee shop tunes." Yes, it may not be the entire book or coffee chain, but I shall scratch off that one from my bucket list! I am excited because Barnes and Noble and Starbucks happen to be my favorite places for discovering a lot of classy sounding, ambient music. I have discovered Regina Spector and Lindsey Sterling at Barnes and Noble searching for books. 

That being said, I also chose "Gone with the Wind" as homage to Elton John's "Candle in the Wind." Lord knows, I love Marilyn Monroe...and I also feel for Princess Diana. 

"It seems you lived your life like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to turn to when the rain set in." 

The usage of "wind" to reflect uncertainty in Elton's John's lyrics, is the same "wind of uncertainty" I am referring to in both of my songs. As I mentioned, sometimes you don't "have the answer" and have to toss a situation to the fate of the wind. If it is meant for you...it may come back...and if not...then it won't...

The act of "letting go" is the significance of my version of "gone with the wind." 

This leads me to describe "how" I was inspired to create this new "coffeeshop" sound...

Once, for my own sake, I took myself out to coffee...to "break up with my idea" of how life was meant to go. I found myself disappointed, in a "why me" funk after getting "ghosted." After I discovered many "ghosting" and relationship videos online, I understood how to handle the situation much better. Although, up until I discovered ghosting videos...I was a mess. I dealt with it in my own way. I took myself out to coffee and pretended to have a nice conversation over a cell phone so I wouldn't look crazy. I talked to myself until I felt talked out...listened to coffeehouse music...and realized, "Yep, this is where my next songs are headed."

Whoa...hold up...did you just say you talked to yourself and pair that with "not crazy?" 

Well, my idea was based on the premise that the human brain can't distinguish "real" from "imagined." That means, when a person imagines an act as real, the areas of the brain light up as if what is imagined is actually real. I came across this in using visualization as a swimmer. I also read an article about it. So I said to myself, "why not take yourself out to coffee and have a conversation that didn't happen like it actually did happen."

I would "officially get it off my chest and out of my system."

Did it work?

Well, it turns out...my "experiment" failed. I was not able to trick my own brain. Maybe because while I was "talking to myself" on my cell while pretending to have coffee with my imagination, my brain was too aware. My eyes darted with worry I'd look too much like I was legit talking-to-myself, paired with thoughts like, "Go silent like you are listening to a response on the other end or it won't look real to the people around you" possibly prevented my brain from perceiving any of this as "real."

Nevertheless, I sat and listened to some jazz music...coffeeshop type music....and I thought, "You have just the perfect amount of blues in your actual life and the musical chops to make something out of this."

So, here we are now, I'm working on another music project...with jazz and blues tones. In this next song you should really hear the "Elton-Buble" sound bleed through! 

LYRICS TO "GONE WITH THE WIND"

You'll go your way...

I'll go mine.

Memories buried 

Under the sands of time

You won't know me

I won't know you

We'll be strangers once again

Maybe one day

Maybe someday 

Maybe somehow 

We'll meet again

As friends

...but the way that you left me

Cut me too deeply

And all of these feelings

Have no place to go...

They are dying inside me

They are dying so sweetly 

Baby, believe me.

I'm letting you go.

...and you'll go your way

I'll go mine.

I'm sure the pain will fade in time

I won't call you

You won't call me

We will go our separate ways...

Maybe one day...

Maybe someday...

We'll say what we need to say...

...but the way that you left me...

Searching for meaning

In tear streaked apologies

I never sent...

In letters and love songs

You left my pen bleeding

With unexpressed feelings...

All gone with the wind...

(Musical break with a saxophone) 

(Repeat Last Phrase)

That's all folks! Look out for my latest work! I am curious to see how this new song is received!